Does Every Relationship Truly Stand Alone?
Is every love story truly one of a kind, or are we all just variations of the same script?
The other day, I was having a conversation about relationships. A classic topic, always ripe for discussion, because let's face it—love is the one thing we’re all trying to figure out. At one point, this person looked at me and said, "Every relationship is different. Each one is its own unique story." And while I wanted to nod in agreement, deep down, I wasn’t so sure.
Of course, a relationship between Pierre and Paul isn’t going to be the same as the one between Marc and Capucine. The people involved are different, their circumstances are different, their love languages, attachment styles, pet peeves, and inside jokes—different.
But despite all these variables, I started wondering: are relationships truly as unique as we like to believe, or are we just trying to romanticize the idea of individuality?
Because if every relationship were entirely one-of-a-kind, wouldn't there be no universal relationship advice? Wouldn't we all be out here navigating love completely blind, with no patterns to recognize, no lessons to pass down, no self-help books lining our nightstands? And yet, we all know that’s not the case. Relationships—successful or doomed—often follow similar rhythms.
The highs, the lows, the phases of passion, the moments of disconnection. There are warning signs we all learn to spot, patterns we all start to recognize, common pitfalls we try to avoid. Love may feel personal, but the roadmaps? They’ve been sketched before.
I couldn’t help but think back to a scene from The Incredibles—yes, I still watch Pixar movies at 25, and no, I’m not ashamed. There’s a moment when Dash’s mom tells him that “everyone is special,” and he quips back, “which is another way of saying no one is.” That line stuck with me as a kid, and it still lingers in my mind today. If we’re all so unique, then doesn’t that, paradoxically, make us all a little bit the same?
And when it comes to love, is it really possible that every relationship is its own, unparalleled masterpiece? Or are we just reworking the same fundamental themes—communication, trust, compromise, attraction—into slightly different versions of the same story?
I’m not saying relationships are cookie-cutter. But there’s a reason so many love stories end the same way. There’s a reason heartbreak feels universal, why certain red flags set off alarm bells in all of us, why some couples last and others fall apart.
There’s a reason why so many relationships fail for the exact same reasons: lack of communication, mismatched values, emotional unavailability, the slow erosion of effort. And yet, we insist that our love is different. That our heartbreak is unlike anyone else’s. That no one could possibly understand what we’re going through.
I think we crave this idea of absolute uniqueness because it makes our experiences feel more meaningful. It reassures us that our love stories aren’t just following a formula, that they’re not predictable, that we are special. But maybe, just maybe, the truth is that we’re all just navigating variations of the same human experiences. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
Because if we accept that relationships—while personal—aren’t entirely unique, then maybe we can stop feeling so alone in our struggles. Maybe we can learn from those who came before us. Maybe we can see the patterns before we fall into them, recognize the lessons before we have to learn them the hard way.
So are all relationships different? Yes. And also, no. The magic is in the details, but the blueprint? That might just be universal.
With love,
Victoria (your fake Carrie Bradshaw)
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This is so interesting and now Im scratching my head really thinking! I also think about how there’s so many people in the world there’s bound to be similarities and pattern between us
The idea of love itself doesn't change much, people fall in love for all the same reasons: attraction, connection, and vulnerability. Love can end for all the same reasons too: growing apart, miscommunication, even timing. So I guess the base layer is love, it remains the same in every story, however each story has different trajectories, plot twists, characters, etc. So, in the grand scheme of things they're all just love stories, but when you look a little closer they're all so very different. Loved this article!